Caesarean Rhapsody

For people like me who have to stare at a computer screen for hours on end because a godforsaken batch file or shell script is running in the background, here is the perfect solution to boredom.

http://www.tv-links.co.uk has links to episodes of all your favourite television series’. Bye bye zombie face, hello smiles!

(Cross-posted from the “lovers” of Times of India blog)

Only the good die young. The rest probably remain undead and get hired to think up catchy headlines for the ToI city supplements.
Like this total gem that caught my eye on a recent glance at the Google News page:

Aishwarya takes an elephant ride

What next?

Aishwarya takes a snap. (…of herself during scenes so that she can work on her facial expressions)

Aishwarya takes acting lessons. (hoo boy now that would be something!)

Aishwarya takes a bath. (Perhaps in lurid detail!)

If your enthusiasm isn’t already in the dumps after reading the creative headline, the article too makes as much sense. It starts of by throwing light onto the recent excise scandal the actress got into. Then it quickly moves on to her being in Jaipur with Hritik Roshan, for a movie production, and then nosedives into nothingness.
And plus the Mistress of Scheiße has been credited with a few juvenile (and apt) “quips” between those copious giggles that the crummy journos stuff into their sentences as often as prepositions. Do read that thing and assure the 4 year olds around you that they could have an instant shot at a lucrative career.

What could serve more as a more fitting example of the Sanskrit aphorism than this piece of news about George Clooney wanting to jump onto the Bollywood bandwagon!!!

L.A.Times carried the article.

PS: This post may seem a bit delayed since it was a draft for at least a week.

Two weeks back, India’s current hot Bollywood favourite, Sanjay Dutt shocked many as he pleaded guilty to hoarding illegal arms which were used during the Mumbai 1993 blasts. Though late, it was justice well served and sanity prevailed. Many heaved a sigh of relief since their Sanjubaba was cleared of the TADA charges which would have meant doom for the star who has had a tough time recreating his image since the first time he was incriminated.

But what turned the milk sour was the public reaction to this whole affair. Instead of taking the criticism and judgement passed by the court on their beloved star, many took to the streets all over the country. Their motive? A signature campaign to have Dutt acquitted and the charges against him dropped. The movement has been masterminded by Suneil Shetty, an actor who quitely slipped out of public eye to concentrate on his restaurant buisness. According to Shetty, Sanjubaba is a humane celebrity who lends a helping hand to people in and outside the film industry. Yeah right, Mr. Shetty, we hear you! Based on this lop-sided opinion the court should change its stance which it has taken 13 years to arrive at! Apparently that is not the demand that the signature campaign aims at. According to Pahlaj Nihlani, it is just so that people who have received help in any manner from Sanjay can show their support and appreciation.

I don’t get it. Why do we always celebrate negativity? Any Hollywood celebrity abusing drugs or committing assault and battery can kiss their fan base good bye for quite some time. But here in India, we turn them into gods. Fans I can understand, but devotees I loathe. If you worship another human, I would say you have a major problem with your self-confidence level. Appreciation is one thing and jingoistic belief is another. Down south actors have temples built as tributes. In Karnataka and Tamil Nadu, MGR, NTR, Rajnikant, Dr Rajkumar and the likes are gods. The result of such blind faith? The Bangalore riots that ensued Rajkumar’s death earlier this year should be proof enough. A totally uncalled-for, shameful act of indiscriminate violence. Don’t even get me started on the details. I watched it all, live on TV.

The thing I want to rub in, is that we Indians are into the habit of worshipping demigods. Why then do we blame our politicians for openly raping democracy and underworld men for menacing our lives? Time we grew out of these juvenile hold ups and let justice be served.

Chancho (gulp)…when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants…in your room. It’s for fun!

(Jack Black as Ignacio in Nacho Libre)

Catch the video here!