Caesarean Rhapsody

Here's a gem from the band that snatched the "Best Metal Band" Grammy from Metallica in '89. Gotta love that flute by Ian Anderson.

–

Teacher – Jethro Tull

Well the dawn was coming,
heard him ringing on my bell.
He said, "My name's the teacher",
that is what I call myself.
And I have a lesson
that I must impart to you.
It's an old expression
but I must insist it's true.

Jump up, look around,
find yourself some fun,
no sense in sitting there hating everyone.
No man's an island and his castle isn't home,
the nest is for nothing when the bird has flown."

So I took a journey,
threw my world into the sea.
With me went the teacher
who found fun instead of me.

Hey man, what's the plan, what was that you said?
Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed.
I try to socialize but I can't seem to find
what I was looking for, got something on my mind.

Then the teacher told me
it had been a lot of fun.
Thanked me for his ticket
and all that I had done.

Hey man, what's the plan, what was that you said?
Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed.
I try to socialize but I can't seem to find
what I was looking for, got something on my mind.

P.S : Edited wrong year on Kunal's suggestion. If you have any doubts regarding the date, please refer to Rollingstone magazine.

Here's a fresh one from the sack. I got a call on 26th November at 6:57 AM. It was an unfamiliar voice that greeted me….

Me: Hello….
Caller: Who is this? (Buddy, it's me who should be asking this question)
Me: This is Anup….may I know who's calling?
Caller: S*. I friend of R*. I want talk to you.(It starts)
Me: Yes….oh R*….okay….what do you want to talk about? (Why the hell did you call me at this time)
Caller: I get call from Tata Elxsi (my company)….I have test….interview….at 10….I want to talk about that…
Me: Certainly….TEL is looking for freshers….that is 2004 passouts….had you sent them your resume stating your average score….because they are pretty strict about the minimum percentage….they've asked for 70% aggregate, you know!
Caller: Yes….I send mail last week….today I got test….so want help from you….
Me: What was your aggregate for engineering?
Caller: 68%.
Me: And which university was your college affiliated?
Caller: Chaudhary Charan Singh University, UP…..but I need your help.
Me: Uh….in what way could I help?
Caller: I want question paper!
Me: WHAT??? Come aga…. (I was surprised at the audacity of the demand)
Caller: I want paper (a bit louder and cutting me off) …. test paper…
Me: I'm sorry I can't help you with that….the HR department has possession of all testing material….(and I wouldn't give it to you even if I had it, bonehead)
Caller: But R* tell you can help….so I call you….you help R* also na! (What do I make out of this drivel)
Me: But I only discussed the paper sections with R. Just told him which areas the test concentrated on and what he should read befo….
Caller: (Jumping the gun and again cutting my sentence) I WANT THAT….the only question type….is there technical or business or practical knowledge….If they want basic technical funda or CAT like apti test (he used this very abbreviation….What the fuck is this, dude?)
Me: Alright….see the test is divided into two parts. Technical and General Aptitude. Each section has 30 questions. You have 30 minutes to answer each section. Sometimes there maybe more technical or aptitude questions…like in my case there were 45 in the technical section.
Caller: Business questions (It's aptitude, moron)….level is hard…(I don't know whether a question mark goes here, coz it sure didn't sound that way)
Me: No, no. Not at all. In fact it's pretty easy. Nothing outside your previous curriculum. Problems like trains travelling towards each other, work distribution, kids' ages, venn diagrams (What the fuck was I talking about?)
Caller: What level? (If brevity is soul, dude, you're Marvin Gaye)
Me: Pretty easy…..I did pretty well without much studying…..so you should do alright.
Caller: Ok….ok (finally…..I thought it's over)
Me: Cool…..so best of luck with your test. And let me know if you need help at TEL. My extension number is ****.
Caller: WAIT. I need help on Parrot.
Me: What's Parrot?
Caller: Parrot System Limited. It is near to your company only. I get call from there also. I got test there at 11:30….
Me: Oh, you mean Perot Systems. It's a nice company. You should go for the test surely. But I can't help you with that…..
Caller: No….Can I attend the Elxsi 8 batch?
Me: What's the 8 batch?
Caller: 8 o'clock….second batch…..today 2 batches. I then go to Parrot easily……
Me: Sorry but you'll have to contact the HR for this. If you want I can give you his number.
Caller: I have it. But I thought you can help with shift my batch to 8 wala batch.
Me: Actually, the HR department is totally different. I as a programmer have no say in their functioning. I'll try anyways.
Caller: Ok. If you change the batch…..then call me on this number. I am going to mandir for prayer…..I never go to a test without prayer……(Yeah you can skip the studies and spend a day prior to the test in a Yagna maybe. And just why the fuck was this necessary for me to know)
Me: Okay…..fine. Bye then….I don't think I will go to office that early anyways. So I will try to call up Ajay, my HR and ask him. Ok.
Caller: Yes. But give me info about 8 batch….I am waiting.
Me: Fine….bye. (You horrendous SOB)

Well, that's all I can remember…….have a few more of such incidents in the kitty but that's for the some other time…….If I get any more calls like this I think I'd probably smash my cellphone to the last IC.

Terrorist : One who governs by terrorism or intimidation

Had a chance to see this movie lately……what else with the stupid moratortium in the state. Tom Hanks seems to bring out the best in Steven Speilberg. Something all of us noticed even in Saving Private Ryan. The movie, although based on a true story, doesn't have much of a storyline but gives you a lot to think. Patriotism, perseverence, sacrifice, friendship, love and the flawed American Legal System. I sometimes think Stevie boy has a major anti-American propoganda to unleash on the world through his movies. Regardless of what he has in store for Uncle Sam, he sure can make good movies. Kudos to the Hanks-Spielberg duo once again!!!

It’s been quite a haitus. And for no particular reason. However it doesn’t mean there wasn’t something keeping me busy. Not being used to working (as we are in COEP) is quite a bane, especially when someone’s paying you for it. It was but natural that all other activities including blogging took a backseat. But I promise to be more regular from here on……